


Poetic reflections

by Miraculous_daughter_of_posiedon



Category: None - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Bad Poetry, Imagry, Metaphors, Similes, dont mind me, im just sad and bad at communicating, telling random internet strangers things I don’t tell people irl, venting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2020-03-08 10:25:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 1,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18892747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miraculous_daughter_of_posiedon/pseuds/Miraculous_daughter_of_posiedon
Summary: Just me venting... don’t mind me





	1. Static

Sometimes I feel like radio

S

  t

    a

      t

        i

         c

white noise coming from a signal-less station.

i have shut myself in so  

* * *

tight

* * *

 

that I cannot be heard.

my signal only r e ev  er b erates

around my own mental walls.

I have not a thing to say

just mindless n oi s e.

filling an empty  ~~~~

      where something useful could be.

Have you ever tried to sleep to radio

s

  T

   a

     t

      i 

      c

?

its impossible 

_**Thunder c** _

_**R** _

_**A** _

_**S** _

_**H** _

_**es** _

against my skull 

 creating the thoughts I

* * *

 

abandon

 

* * *

By day

I've never been good at comm <—> unicating

Radio 

s

 t

  A

   t

    i 

    c

has nothing to say

just mindless n oi s e

rambling a                             way

a         way

     a                         way 

way 

          way 

radio

s

 t

  a

    T

      i

         c

has nothing

~~real~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~to

   say

 


	2. Of self destruction

I’m peculiar   
I like the rain  
The cold  
And the feeling of tears on my skin

Rain  
It feels like coming home  
Like being clean again.  
The rain drops on my face  
Kissing gently  
And roll down  
Creating a path in a way I wish I could.

I like the cold  
The crisp feeling on my skin.  
It’s an excuse to sleep with thousands of blankets  
And hoodies.  
And it reminds me  
That I’m still here  
Of how far I’ve come.

Tears  
Why do I damn myself  
Closing myself off  
And begging them to leave  
So that I can not hurt them anymore.  
And still I cry when they drift,  
Because deep down  
I want them to ignore me  
And stay right here.  
Demanding I let them in.

I ruin everything I touch  
People, plants  
Even the inanimate shy away from my damning touch.  
Why must I break everything I touch!  
I’m a hurricane  
And a tornado  
Tearing down the world around me  
And I don’t know how to fix it.  
I make problems  
For all close to me

I beg you,  
Stay away!  
So that I may not bring you down too  
With my all damning touch.


	3. Past platonic

I should have known

known what?

i do not know.

 

i should have known,

when my heart pounded out of my ribs

when you held my hand

in the hallway.

 

i should have known,

when you sent doves through the air

simply with a smile sent my way

 

I should have known,

if by nothing else,

by the way my heart is breaking

knowing you can’t be mine.

 

i really should have known

my feelings went past platonic


	4. The bathroom down the stairs

In the bathroom down the stairs

there is a candle with a starfish

products for our hair

and wooden cabinets by the sink.

and there’s me

I’m sitting on the toilet and the lid is down.

I’m scratching at my thighs

and counting my breathes.

in out that’s one

in out that’s two.

I make it to five before I continue scratching at my thighs.

I can hear you arguing upstairs

because I finally snapped

and she thinks I have a point

and you don’t.

I wish this didn’t happen

I don’t like snappin 

at you

I hate that you make me mad enough to hate you.

and I’m writing this in my head

in the bathroom down the stairs

and I know we’ll be here again

in the bathroom down the stairs


	5. Dissolving

~~~~~~~~~~~~It’s moments like these

that I know I’m dangerous.

my heart aches

and everything aches

and there’s

the telltale pull in my gut

from when things get to be too much

 

i feel myself burning out

like a candle

messy with burnt,

used wax

and I feel myself fading

into oblivion,

Dissolving.

 

theres a heaviness

to me

and a lightness

to the air

and I feel myself sinking

slowly

and I can’t bring myself

to care


	6. Butterfly

I have this friend  
she’s trying to wear her heart on her sleeve  
But it’s a little battered  
a little torn  
and she’s worried what people may think  
when they seethe fingerprints and marks  
and the highlighter in one of the tucked corners  
so she shows the half less broken  
if you show the pretty half  
no one wonders about the rest

She says her best friend called her a butterfly  
and maybe that means absent minded  
or fragile  
but all I can see   
is that maybe  
she’s the brightly colored smile on wings  
fluttering  
picking out with a sixth sense of some sort  
that only the people like her get  
and she picks out the people   
that need it the most  
and she lands on their shoulder  
or their head  
for merely a moment  
and all their friends point and say  
“look look a butterfly landed on you!”

or maybe they don’t  
either they smile and they laugh  
and ten years from now they’ll think of her fondly  
no matter how far she’s gone  
or  
maybe they don’t notice  
they didn’t see  
her touch too soft to feel  
but fairy dust  
or stardust if you will  
it lingers on your skin  
and something changes  
and you might finally win  
but sometimes her sixth sense is off  
and she touches skin too hard  
it’s no fault of your own, love  
that paper hearts are not made for war  
they are ripped far to often  
but still your battle cry’s pour  
they fall in the crevices  
of forgotten worlds  
and you will flutter  
on your broken heart, paper, butterfly wings  
like an eagle  
you will soar


	7. Circumstance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m so tired

I am a firm believer

that a villain

is an untold victim

a product

of past circumstance

but sometimes

a villain

must remain just a villain

lest my heart

turn to victim blame.

 

in my mind

and in my heart

I called out to you

but no one ever came.

They made you my everything

and who my heart belonged to

and when you disappeared

when your myths stopped making sense to me

I didn’t know who I belonged to.

I wish I could say it was me

but I don’t know my name anymore

calling after

everything I thought I knew

my everything is gone

now I don’t know what to do.

had I had a foundation

to fall back to

once you were gone.

then maybe I wouldn’t feel so empty

and gone.

maybe I could still take joy from the rain

all hours of the day

maybe I wouldn’t be in constant pain

a constant state of dying

you may say.

 

I was a reflection of you

but now I see through

everything we do

and I can’t make it back

stuck

as my insatiable cold

sucks in the heat around me

no progress to be made

a reflection of the energy surrounding

a product

of past circumstance

 

pick your shot children

to the head

or to alcohol

you may have 16 years to decide

or maybe even 5

as the adult

picks the other option

and your school gets shot in

you are a product of so much circumstance

of issues we continue to ignore

issues of unjust gods

and the matter of when

all will disappear


	8. Deep talks at Denny’s

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m not really one for love poems but...

It’ll be years before I ever

ever

tell anyone I could ever write this

and I hope

that you never know

i tried so hard

but heart has won

the same heart that witnessed

Deep talks in the Denny’s

on Peach street.

Wishing ourselves to Wonderland

Believe me

this really ain’t my fault ma’am

words dance in the darkness

the dead of night

I know we could never happen, lovely girl

We’re just too different

you fall frequently

for boys you’ll never know

i fall hard and long

for they who look right past me

it ain’t my fault love.

that I fall asleep

with my hand resting on my cheek

as if it were somebody else’s

and the other on my heart.

it ain’t my fault love,

that you’re the kind of girl

that girls fall in love with

 


	9. ________

I don’t even have anything to write

my mind is just that blank

a silent raft

in a sea of sound

all the words drown.

surrounded by nothing

stable non motion.

silence

and sound

neither comfortable

but I like the water

and I think the water likes me

at least down here

I have an excuse to mean

absolutely nothing

forever


	10. Chapter 10

At the dawn of time,

did the world worry

about running out of it?

tic

toc

tic

toc

I joke about death

and wanting to die

far too often

and some days

I'm not sure whether or not I’m joking

most days

I’m pretty sure I’m not.

tic

toc

tic

toc

I ran into my old best friend earlier

and I realized

she’s somewhat a stranger now

so achingly familiar

but so far away

and the cold fire ignited under my skin

It's the only thing I find a constant.

tic 

toc 

tic 

toc 

These last few day-

wee-

mon-

eternities 

everything seems to be falling apart around me

and I watch it fall as I burn,

numb to the pain.

tic 

toc 

.

.

.

.

.

.


End file.
